Guess Who's Back...? (Part I)

Meat Weeks 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40 & 41. Thursday 27th August - Wednesday 14th October.

Good evening everyone, and welcome back to my odyssey of animals, the carnival of meat. Now, I accept that it has, once again, been an incredibly long time since my last update, but I have decided that we'll be all caught up by Christmas, meaning that, in the next two days, you're going to hear about over three months worth of delicious, and not so delicious, critters.

Before I get into that, however, let me first address my past pledge to give you all a pound per day over a fortnight that I didn't update. Well, if I'd have been three, four or even up to about seven days late, that would have been fine. As it is, this would bankrupt me, so I'll just get you a drink next time you ask me for one? Deal? Good. Then let's move on.

So, when I last let you, I was preparing to fly out to Croatia for my friend's wedding. Laura and I had decided to take this time as our holiday for the year and so, while the rest of the guests would be there for just a week, we would spend over three weeks in the youngest country I've ever visited.

Quite aside from the fact that I'd always wanted to go to Croatia since it once again became an independent nation in 1991 (don't ask me why, I have no idea...), I was excited by the chance of finding different animals to eat which I may have struggles to get in the UK. In particular, I was looking forward to going, while we were in Zagreb, on a day trip to Ljubljana, capital of Slovenia, as I'd read that edible dormouse was a Slovenian national delicacy. It promised to be a horizon altering trip, and I couldn't have looked forward to it more.

Anyway, I started the trip, technically, illegally, by taking my can of snails into the country. Having not had chance to eat them before we left, I just figured that I'd take them with me, giving me an easy meat whilst out there. However, I hadn't reckoned on a couple of things - firstly, none of the accommodation we stayed in for the whole holiday had an oven, which rendered the cooking instructions somewhat moot. Of course, I had no idea, at the time I had them, that this would be the case, as we were in our first private room. It may have been that every place we would have stayed in after that would have an oven, thus making the process much easier, but, unfortunately, I was running out of time in the week, and so had to improvise.

Having managed to get hold of some garlic from the hostel owner (having first learnt the Croatian word for garlic, as it was one of the few English words she didn't understand), I opened the tin, expecting to find snails in their shells. What I actually found were unshelled snails with no shells to put them in (which surprised me as the cooking instructions said to put them in the oven in their shells with garlic butter). So, I put my thinking hat on, and decided that I would fry the snails in the garlic butter, and to hell with the shells. As back-up plans go, it was quite elegant.

And, as it turned out, entirely misguided. I had no concept of how long I should cook the snails, and they came out gritty and horrible. I ate two, which were far too rubbery and not at all like they had been the first time I ever had them last year, when I was able to use an oven and follow instructions. These made me gag, and the rest were quickly discarded of, with absolutely no chance of Laura trying one. So, I would like to thank profusely my friend who got them for me, but feel I must apologise for the way they were treated. Sorry - but it was them in the bin, or me in the bathroom all night.

Unfortunately for me, and probably fortunately for you, this is not the right place for a lengthy love note to Croatia, detailing where we went and what we did. No, here, you just get to find out what I ate, making me sound more like an English tourist than I would ever have liked to be. To complete the persona, I'll just say that, for the most part, the weather was glorious. However, I will urge anyone who can to get out there before it gets overrun with tourists - right now, Croatia is beautiful, and resolutely 'foreign'. We didn't encounter another native English speaker for nearly the first two weeks of our holiday, and even then they were Australian rather than English. However, it can only be a matter of time before all that changes, and this proud nation is full of Brits Abroad, and we'll all have to try and find somewhere else off the beaten path.

Having survived yet another week, we moved onto Zagreb, me with half an eye on Ljubljana. Unfortunately, we just didn't have time, which meant that my hopes of edible dormouse were snuffed out. Even more disappointing was when we found out, on the day we were leaving, and too late for me to do anything about it, that in some of the more upmarket restaurants, I would have been able to eat a bear steak. Gutted doesn't quite describe it. And so, we headed on, still needing exciting animals...

Moving on through the country, we came to Pula, a coastal town in the North-West of the country. Here, we stayed in a holiday resort, our only resort of the holiday, which didn't exactly fill me with glee upon arrival. Having come hoping to find a taste of the real Croatia, I was now in the kind of bland place I'd hoped to avoid. As it was, it turned out not to be too bad, as were only there in the evenings for the most part, and our apartment was lovely - albeit still without an oven. Apparently, Slavs don't bake or roast.

The resort did, however, come up with one very welcome surprise - a restaurant which served shark. Knowing of Croatia's position on the Adriatic, and having been assured that much of the cuisine was based around seafood, this is something which I had saved from my list in order to have here. However, there was one problem. The first night we went there, they had no shark. The waiter seemed fairly confident that there would be some delivered in the next day or two, but I could not be so flippant - failure here would have rendered my entire year worthless.

However, nothing else was coming to mind. Of course, there were plenty of fish, but their sections of the list had already been completed. Thankfully, I found that the small restaurant by the pool served wild boar at lunchtime, giving me an escape route, although one I dearly hoped I wouldn't have to take - shark would be much easier to come by in Croatia than at home in the UK. And so, on Tuesday night, we made our way back to the restaurant, in hope if not in expectation. Thankfully, the waiter was right, and I was able to order my grilled shark steak.

I hadn't quite counted on what I would receive - three circular steaks, approximately six inches in diameter. I assume it was a nurse shark, or something of a similar size, and as the waiter was unable to enlighten me any further, that's what I'm sticking with. Whatever it was, it was delicious - a flaky, fish texture without too strong a flavour, but with a certain something which was hard to put my finger on. It was quite like a tuna steak, particularly in feel, and was more than worth giving up a delicious mozzarella stuffed veal steak for. Just.

Next on our whistle stop tour was Split, and I was hoping for something wonderful. However, I ran into problems. There was just nothing from my list that I could have, and I began to get a little desperate. After lengthy discussions with Laura, and the realisation that, unlike at home, where I could go ask a butcher or fishmonger for anything I wanted, and at the very least be understood, here, I was at the mercy of the restaurants, I decided that, in order to get through, I was going to have to go against my categories, and just have something new.

With this in mind, I emailed Captain Meat, and asked his permission to break away from what I was now coming to think of as 'guidelines' as opposed to rules. It was a tense wait, but the next day, there came a reply - we were all systems go to continue without strict parameters. I was disappointed, obviously, as I had hoped to complete the entire list, but with a choice between failure, and a different type of success, I chose Success 2.0.

And Success 2.0 was both very good, and something I'd wanted to try for a long time - black risotto with cuttlefish. Now, cuttlefish is incredibly like octopus and squid, with the same texture and, pretty much, the same flavour. The most exciting part of the meal was the squid ink risotto which was thoroughly delicious, if a little strange - eating black food is very unusual, and I've never been so filled by a meal before. There wasn't a great deal of cuttlefish in there, but what there was was delicious. I'll be more than happy to have that again.

Cuttlefish was ticked off fairly early in the week, as I knew that I would be moving to Dubrovnik, with no guarantee of a fresh meat, and didn't want to risk losing out. I also knew that, as we were flying home on the Tuesday, even if I couldn't find anything in the next week, I would have a day at home to sort something out. All in all, I was feeling fairly confident. Of course, as soon as I start to think everything might get a little bit easier, nothing does.

Interestingly enough, I actually did have a new meat this week, and also a new style of an old meat. At the wedding, I had red snapper, which I hadn't previously had this year, but which I couldn't count as I was still trying, as much as possible, to stick to my original list, and I also, finally, had whole squid, rather than just calamari. That was delightful.

Anyway, most of the rest of the group had left the day before us, and, as we were left to look around the city one last time, Laura received a text. An exciting text. A text which told us that there was bear meat for sale at the airport.

No, I wasn't sure how we'd get it through customs. I needn't have worried, however, as it wasn't fresh bear steak, as I'd anticipated, but dried meat, rather like a large lump of bear biltong. We bought it (Laura has yet to let me forget just how much it cost. Let's just say that it certainly wasn't cheap) and it went in my shoulder bag. Of course, to be sold there, it had to be fine to take it out of the country, although that didn't stop me having a little flutter as we passed by the customs officials. Upon arriving home, I put him in the fridge, and waited till Wednesday...

Coming home from holiday is always a bit of a culture shock, so having that meat made me feel a little happier, like there was still a lit bit of Croatia with us. As dried meat does, it had a very chewy consistency, but was considerably sweeter than most jerky I'd ever had. Although I can't deny I was very disappointed not to have got a fresh bear steak, this made up for it in some small way, and became easily the most impressive animal I'd eaten this year. I mean, who wouldn't like to think they could take down a bear? And one day I will get myself a fresh one...

We had arrived home just in time for the farmer's market, and so had our monthly saunter to see what we might find. This time, I picked up a hare and some wild boar chops, meaning that two more weeks would be taken care of. The hare was put in the freezer, while the chops were left out for a midweek dinner - one which came around very quickly. Grilled, like a regular pork chop, with some mashed potatoes and vegetables, it was such a warming, traditional meal, and, more importantly, the chops were delicious. There was a good amount of fat on them, which really suffused the meat with flavour, and they were so thick that they were still a little pink in the middle, and were tender and juicy. All in all, the perfect chop. Granted, the flavour wasn't so different from a normal pork chop, although there was certainly a little something extra - although that could have just been the knowledge that I was still ticking along nicely, and enjoying a particularly fine meal.

The following week, I went back to Leeds to see my family. Now, going back home is, of course, always a delight, but it does give me some serious problems when it comes to finding new meat. I've found that I've always struggled a little, and so have had to have something before I go or after I get back. However, this time round, I had had nothing previously, and so had to find something to keep me going...and finally, on the Wednesday, I did, when Marks & Spencer presented me with Lemon Sole.

I honestly don't know if I've ever had sole before. I assume I have, as it is so normal, but I can't be certain. Anyway, I have now. Pan fried in a little butter, the sole was very tasty indeed, and I can imagine having it again. However, it wasn't the sensation that, for example, monkfish had been, so it's not the kind of thing I'll go and actually seek out. Should it fall in my lap, however, then who am I to complain?

Back home, it appeared I would have no problems with my next week. However, as Wednesday rolled around, and I realised I had forgotten to take the hare out of the freezer, I knew that there may well be a wee problemette.

But what to have? Scanning my list, I searched for something I could possibly get hold of. The only thing I could find were birds - if I could get a guinea fowl or quail at the market, then I'd be a happy fellow indeed. Sadly, it was not to be. I checked every butcher's I could think of, and none of them had anything that would help me. In the end, I made a big decision, and decided to once again break away from my list and venture into something else.

I had decided that if I was to break from my list, I'd try as far as possible to get something a little interesting. This time, I managed to buy some fresh king scallops. Now, due to their price tag and somewhat upmarket reputation, I had worried that they may be difficult to prepare, but this was not in any way the case. Simply fried in a little olive oil and butter, a minute or two on each side, the scallops were tremendous. I adore the texture of them - both soft and meaty, and, with a flavour that is not overpowering, it's clear to see why they are held in such regard.

Incidentally, queen scallops aren't nearly as good.

So there you have it. Another long distance catch up that has brought us now into the middle of October, just two and a half months from the completion of my challenge. There's trials and tribulations still to come, some terrifying and delicious animal prospects, and lots more beside. The next update will be don, so long as nothing gets in the way, tomorrow night, so, until then...

Stay Meaty.

And, for those of you trying to keep up, and with some changes due to my new found meaty freedom, here's the updated table, up to and including week 41:

Herbivore Mammals
Bovine - Cow, Week 2; Buffalo, Week 19.
Ovine - Sheep, Week 5; Goat, Week 27.
Marsupia - Kangaroo, Week 21.
Rodentia - Rabbit, Week 13.

Omnivore Mammals
Porcine - Pig, Week 1; Wild Boar, Week 39.
Rodentia (a different one to the herbivore one)

Carnivore Mammals
Ursine - Bear, Week 38.

Arthropods
Insecta
- Winged - Crickets, Week 12.
- Unwinged – Mealworms, Week 10 (Mealworm Beetle Larva); Ants, Week 15.
Arachnid - Scorpion, Week 20.
Crustatia
- Sea - Prawns, Week 17; Crab, Week 23.

Reptilia
Crocodile, Week 26.

Amphibians
Frog, Week 25.

Fish
Scaled fish - Salmon, Week 6; Tuna, Week 33.
Flat fish - Monkfish, Week 30; Sole, Week 40.
Shark - Dogfish, Week 28; Shark, Week 36.

Mollusca
Bivalvia – Mussels, Week 11; Cockles, Week 29; Scallop, Week 41.
Cephalopoda - Octopus, Week 8; Squid, Week 24; Cuttlefish, Week 37.
Gastropoda - Whelks, Week 32; Snail, Week 35

Plus 10 different types of Bird - Turkey, Week 3; Chicken, Week 4; Ostrich, Week 7; Wood Pigeon, Week 16; Duck, Week 18; Goose, Week 22; Pheasant, Week 31; Partridge, Week 34.
Plus 2 Animals from classifications NOT on the list – Deer (Cervine), Week 9; Eel, Week 14.

Leaving, on a jet plane...

Meat Weeks 31, 32, 33 & 34. Thursday 30th July - Wednesday 26th August.

It has been a period of change and upheaval - our upstairs neighbours, from whom we pilfered our internet (albeit through an agreement involving reciprocal use of my washing machine), moved out, leaving me without a connection and home, and thus reducing the (already infrequent) frequency of my updates. However, tomorrow, I fly to Croatia, so I figured I better make an extra special effort to let everyone know what is going on before I do. Also, in the, admittedly unlikely, event of my being the victim of human trafficking, I wouldn't anyone to think that I'd faltered in my task up till this point.

Of course, I almost have on numerous occasions, and, following my monkfish triumph, I almost did. Annoyingly, we had visited BugWorld in the hope of picking up a tarantula, only to find that they didn't currently have any in stock, and, although I did manage to eat a fresh, as opposed to dried, queen ant (crunchy, with a slightly buttery and bacon-y flavour, and not too bad, all in all. The look on the face of the girl selling them was priceless however - I don't think she'd seen anyone eat one without looking disgusted, and certainly not mulling over the flavour), that meant that I was once again looking for another meat. However, this being Sunday, I still had a few days left. Easy, right? Well, no, because I'm still me, and, as has happened all too often, I left my meat to the last minute, and ended up falling back on yet another of my reserves - my final pate. This time it was pheasant, and, to be honest, it really wasn't very nice at all. It's not something I'll be seeking out in the future at all, but it ticked off a box, and is a bird that I can get hold of easily enough in the future, so I didn't worry about it too much.

I had taken the pate to Birmingham and my friend Richard's flat, as, on Thursday, we were to attend the Great British Beer Festival in fair London town. With a wide array of ales on offer, there were, of course, a wide range of food options for the hungry drinker, including, or at least so I hoped, some more animals for me to add to my list. Having a quick wander round allayed any fears that I may have had that this week would be another last minute affair as I quickly located a stall from which I could purchase whelks.

Whelks look like snails, but are all meat where the shell on a snail is. They are essentially just muscle, and move quite disconcertingly. However, despite my misgivings, I was quite prepared to go through with the eating, and so got on with it, more to get it out of the way than anything else.

To be honest, my initial idea was right - they were not particularly nice at all. They had the texture of squid, but took much longer to get through, mainly because they were just a ball of chewy, as opposed to rings. On top of this, they had a very salty flavour, which ensured I could eat no more than 3 or 4 before I had to give up. I think I'll file whelks alongside cockles in the 'seafood I don't think I'll be bothering with again' folder.

Given that my meat week had ended on Thursday, I had almost two weeks to prepare for my next animal. Plenty of time, surely, to come up with something interesting and exciting? Well, that's not quite how it worked out, and, of course, resulted in my once again scrabbling for something new to eat as my week came to an end. As the day drew on, I had found nothing, and was starting to panic - I honestly couldn't think of a way out, and had no way of easily getting hold of something new. Houston, we could have a problem.

I then came up with an interesting solution, which involved some gerrymandering on my part. Back in Week 14, I had eaten smoked eel. I was unsure where the eel should be categorised for my purposes, and had sought the advice of Captain Meat, Ben, who had advised that I could decide whether to file it under 'scaled fish', or 'other.' At the time, I had decided upon scaled fish, as I thought the 'other' category would lead to a more interesting future animal than having a spare 'scaled fish' would have. However, at this point, interesting wasn't so important to me as not failing, and so I decided that it was time to move eel to 'other,' and grab myself another fish. One trip to the supermarket later, and I had a tin of tuna in my possession, which I proceeded to eat later that night. After the first mouthful, it struck me how strange this challenge was, that we were halfway through the month of August, and I had yet to eat tuna, which is something I used to just have in the cupboard and use as an easy lunch. Now, I'm going to have to get used to the taste again - it really is quite strong. And tuna really makes your mouth dry.

On second thoughts, maybe I should put that down as 'other' - hopefully there was some dolphin in there.

After the tuna debacle, I was hopeful that I could be better prepared the next week. However, I still found myself on Wednesday searching for something to have. I really am awfully organised. Luckily, I found myself a really good butcher who came up trumps, with both a partridge and a pheasant (I do like to actually eat the meat after I've had the processed version). I was really surprised at just how small a partridge is, and especially how small pheasants are - they're all feathers really.

Although I overcooked the birds (they really don't need to be in the oven anywhere near as long as chickens) which made the meat a little dry, it was still very tasty. Partridge is unlike any other bird I've had, and has a much meatier taste than any other poultry I've eaten - it was actually quite close to rabbit. Pheasant was also quite pleasant - much better than its pate version - and is a good alternative to chicken. Of the two, I think I preferred partridge, but they are really too small to be of any use to anyone - more an accompaniment to dinner that being dinner itself. Still, a couple as part of a buffet or something could be nice.

So, onto my next few weeks, and we approach the final third of the year. As I mentioned, I head to Croatia tomorrow, which is worrying me, as I don't know what I'll be able to get there. I do know that it's a very seafood heavy cuisine, so I've saved a shark and a flatfish to have there. On top of that, we're contemplating a trip to Ljubljana, and I've read that edible dormouse is a delicacy in Slovenia, so hopefully I'll be able to grab one of them. To help me out, I have some snails to eat before we go, courtesy of a good friend of mine, which will reduce the number of meat weeks I have to do over there. Fingers crossed.

However, I do have some worries about the future, mainly due to land crustaceans - they're going to prove awfully difficult to do, and I might have to call for a judges ruling on those. We shall see.

Anyway, until I return...

Stay Meaty!

As usual, for those keeping score, here's the updated table, up to and including, weeks 34 (completed categories in bold):

Herbivore Mammals
Bovine - Cow, Week 2; Buffalo, Week 19.
Ovine - Sheep, Week 5; Goat, Week 27.
Marsupia - Kangaroo, Week 21.
Rodentia - Rabbit, Week 13.

Omnivore Mammals
Porcine - Pig, Week 1.
Rodentia (a different one to the herbivore one)

Carnivore Mammals
Canine

Arthropods
Insecta
- Winged - Crickets, Week 12.
- Unwinged – Mealworms, Week 10 (Mealworm Beetle Larva); Ants, Week 15.
Arachnid - Scorpion, Week 20.
Crustatia
- Land
- Sea - Prawns, Week 17; Crab, Week 23.

Reptilia
Crocodile, Week 26.

Amphibians
Frog, Week 25.

Fish
Scaled fish - Salmon, Week 6; Tuna, Week 33.
Flat fish - Monkfish, Week 30.
Shark - Dogfish, Week 28.

Mollusca
Bivalvia – Mussels, Week 11; Cockles, Week 29.
Cephalopoda - Octopus, Week 8; Squid, Week 24.
Gastropoda - Whelks, Week 32

Plus 10 different types of Bird - Turkey, Week 3; Chicken, Week 4; Ostrich, Week 7; Wood Pigeon, Week 16; Duck, Week 18; Goose, Week 22; Pheasant, Week 31; Partridge, Week 34.
Plus 2 Animals from classifications NOT on the list – Deer (Cervine), Week 9; Eel, Week 14.

Thankyou for your patience (Part III)

Meat Weeks 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29 & 30. Thursday 11th June - Wednesday 29th July.

As promised, with the weekend barely half over, here is the third and final installment of this mammoth update. When last we met, I had been attacked and physically injured by a deceased crustacean, which makes me among the lamest of people. However, I gamely battled on, and continued in my quest to devour as many of God's creatures as I could.

Once again, Wednesday night rolled around (seriously, I need to sort this out!) and I had to again find something for dinner. My friend Richard was visiting, and so we decided to go out and grab some food, but where to go? Well, we wandered my local area, searching for something that was both tasty and within constraints, coming up with a few options - including goat curry at the brilliantly named Jamaican Me Hungry - before deciding upon Esteban, a lovely tapas restaurant, in the sure and certain knowledge that, with so many dishes to choose from, there would surely be something for me. And there was - an old favourite that I was more than happy to welcome back into my circle of meats. When our dishes arrived, I reached for the plate, and took my first piece of squid of the year.

Squid is brilliant. It's certainly an acquired taste, as the texture, in particular, tends to put people off. When alligned with the fact that it's squid - not the best looking of creatures, if we're being honest - many people would turn their noses up. I, however, find them delicious. However, squid is something I have yet to cook at home myself, as it can be quite difficult to cook correctly. I was told a few years ago, by a chef in a pub I worked in, that it needs to be cooked for either 40 seconds or 40 minutes - there's really no middle ground. In fact, squid is the only thing I've ever sent back in a restaurant for being badly cooked. We were at a place in Edinburgh, and the dish came out so tough and rubbery that it was incredibly difficult to eat, which just cemented my feeling that I probably need a little more experience before trying it myself.

Anyway, we had calamari at Esteban, and they were done perfectly. The meat is chewy, but not too tough, and has a lovely 'seafood' flavour, which was complimented perfectly by the garlic mayonnaise that came with it. Just delicious, and certainly something I'm glad to be eating again, because although it's not something I have regularly, it's certainly one of my favourite things for when I eat out.

The next day, Thursday, saw me go with Richard down to Birmingham, in preperation for his 30th birthday party that weekend. We had decided a few weeks earlier that at some point we would go to a French restaurant he knows and I would have my first ever frogs legs, and so, on Friday, we celebrated his 30th birthday with lunch there.

Although when we arrived we were offered the lunch menu which did not have frogs on there, the manager was more than happy to accommodate my request, and soon enough, the amphibian limbs were placed in front of me.

The first surprise was how obviously like frogs legs they looked. That may sound like a ridiculous statement to make, but I didn't think they would come in pairs, still attatched to the animals pelvis. However, they did, which I thought was brilliant. Secondly, I had heard from so many people how frogs taste just like chicken, but I had never believed that, as people tend to say that everything new they eat tastes like chicken. However, the meat on these legs did indeed taste exactly like chicken. I don't know how much that had to do with the coating on the meat, although the meat itself certainly had a very similar texture and look to chicken as well, so I can't imagine it was too down to what was on it.

So, since I already like chicken, it should surely be fairly obvious that I like frogs too. However, I doubt it will be something I will go too far out of my way to get in the future, unless they're reasonably priced in a restaurant. Basically, they didn't have enough meat on them to make paying a lot, or really going the extra mile, for them worthwhile. I suppose that's only to be expected, as frogs aren't really that big, but the amount of meat on these powerful limbs was still slightly disappointing. However, it's definitely something I'm glad I had, and certainly wasn't a bad thing.

Later on that day, I picked up the spare. Ben, AKA Captain Meat, was also up for the celebration, and had gone and bought oysters and champagne for Rich's birthday, and so, despite knowing that they would not count, as I had already had my meat for the week, and would not count for any future weeks once I'd already had them, I dove in and shucked one from the shell. And it was...well, an experience. Not one I'll be in a rush to repeat, to be honest, but certainly an experience. Essentially, it tasted like an incredibly salty ball of what felt like mucus. If that doesn't sound particularly appetising, well, I don't think it was. Of course, they have a massive following in certain areas, and, if they are an acquired taste, I'm more than happy to have another go to see whether I'm able to acquire it, but as things stand, I'll be happy to know that I've tried them once. It's just a good job I know that there are plenty more molluscs out there, because if I'd eaten that for no meat week reward, I'd have been very disappointed...

So, in a very busy few days, I'd had three different new animals (two which counted), and then, on the Saturday, we went to the International Market which Birmingham was playing host to. We perused the stalls, and I bought a delicious bratwurst, before beginning to head back to the flat. However, on the way, we passed a stall selling meats of the world. Well, I just had to have a closer look, and was able to find some kangaroo steak, so I was able to back up my earlier processed kangaroo meat (it was gorgeous by the way, cooked quite rare, and had a delightful game flavour), and, even more excitingly, a small piece of crocodile meat. I'd never seen crocodile before, so was very excited to pick this up.

When the weekend was over, we went home, with a few days left until the week was over, and my meat already done. Strangely, this time, I could not wait for the weeks to tick over though, as my crocodile had only a limited shelf life, and so would be eaten on Thursday. Two early meats in a row. I must have been ill...

When Thursday came around we had friends round for dinner. Now, there was no way that this piece would have served two, let alone four, so I made one of my famous chicken pies, and then had the crocodile as a little extra. The meat was £5 for a piece approximately 2.5" square, and around 3/4 of an inch thick. I had no idea what it would taste like, although I had an idea that it might taste slightly fishy, for some reason. It didn't.

The guy at the stall had said to cook the meat as you would a normal piece of beef steak, although he did mention that it should be as rare as I can take it. Well, that was fine by me, as I eat my steak bleu, so, just to be on the safe side, I cooked it for around the length of time I would cook a rare steak. All four of us tried the meat, which I was surprised about, but none of us could quite put our fingers on a flavour. It certainly didn't taste of fish, or chicken, or beef, or anything really. Texture wise, it was quite like pork, in that there was quite a thick fatty layer on top, and a certain unyielding consistency to the meat - not overly chewy, exactly, but certainly not melt-in-your-mouth. If anything, it was quite bland, but in a way that left me wanting more - possibly just so that I could figure out what it tasted like! It was certainly one of the more unusual meats I've had so far this year, and I'll definitely look out for it again, although I know that it will never be a regular thing until we have more crocodile farms in this country - at the moment it's just too expensive to be a staple of my diet.

Of course, after a few weeks of organization, I had to slip back into my old ways again, and waited till the final day of my next week to panic about what to have - which was a period of almost two weeks without a new meat. This led toa real worry a couple of weeks later when I was trying to remember which meats I'd eaten. I keep a diary of what I've had, in order that I'll remember for this here blog, and generally write every few weeks what I've had. Well, due to my having a weekend event in the wrong week in my diary, and the length of time between the crocodile and my next new meat, I had a full day of trying to figure out what animal I'd eaten after crocodile. When we finally worked it out, the relief was immense - I really thought I might have failed just by completely forgetting. Thankfully, I'm too good for that.

Incidentally, two weekends after Rich's birthday, a few of us went camping for Ben's birthday. The guest of honour was Jade, a whole pig, which was spit-roasted for about eight or nine hours before being ravenously devoured. Between about 15 of us, we caould barely eat half of the thing, with everyone absolutely full to the brim. That was a superb weekend.

Anyway, back home again, and back to the rush to fit in a new meat. With Wednesday fast running out, I fell back on an old friend - the goat burgers in the freezer. Goat is an ok meat, not as good as sheep, which it is quite similar to, but certainly very edible. Unfortunately, as we were cooking the burgers from froaen, I messed them up and cooked them too fast, meaning that one side got a little burnt and a little tough. Thankfully, I know that there will be a chance again to eat actual goat meat, so I wasn't too worried, but I was once again disappointed to have ruined something which had been in the freezer waiting patiently for its moment to shine. Sorry, Billy, I promise the next goat I eat will be better treated.

The very next day I took a bus to London in preparation for a Friday flight to Fuengarola, just outside Malaga in Spain, for one of my uni friends' Stag nights. Ahead of me was three days of fun, sun and too much alcohol, and, I was hoping, one of my more unusual categories of animal.

Within an hour of our arriving at the hotel, I got my wish. As soon as we'd dropped our bags and freshened up, we went out. Directly opposite our hotel was a small square in front of a church, in which a local restaurant had placed tables. Sitting outside were all manner of people - old, young, families with their children - and it was here that we decided to grab a quick bite before heading off to the bars. As I scanned the menu, I immediately saw what I had hoped for, a new meat from an as yet untouched category - dogfish.

In Britain, dogfish is sold as rock salmon, presumably because that sounds more appetising than dogfish. It used to be a staple of fish and chip shops, although it is now more difficult to get hold of, and so I grabbed this opportunity with both hands. When it arrived, it was in a light, yellow batter, and had no ditinct flavour. It basically tasted like other fish and chip shop fish, quite a lot like cod, although it was not white. Whether this was just because of how it had been cooked or not, it had a yellow hue, which at least made it look a little different to most other fish. Other than that, it was unmemorable, but if I found it in a shop somewhere, I'd be more than happy to have it again.

With my week's task discharged early, I was able to relax and enjoy the rest of the weekend, which was certainly a lot of fun. I was very thankful, however, that I had managed to get my meat out of the way, as, by the time I arrived back late on Tuesday, I really couldn't have been bothered to think about what was going to happen the next day. And my next deadline was a whole week away. Plenty of time to figure something out, right? Absolutely right...

Which was why, the following Tuesday night, I found myself taking my monkfish fillets out of the freezer in preparation for Wednesday evening. I had found a recipe which sounded lovely, and was raring to go. However, I couldn't find some of the ingredients, and so, despite having planned a meal, I was now unable to have it, and instead, again, found myself looking round for an easy stop-gap. I decided to take a trip to Liverpool St John's Market, and see if anything in there would catch my eye, and, once again, I found salvation at a fishmongers'.

As far as I can remember, I hadn't had cockles before. The thing is, I'm fairly sure I will have done, as we used to go to the seaside a lot when younger, and I know that my grandad, in particular, was a fan of visiting seafront seafood stalls and picking up pots of things which my sister and I would usually try, but I couldn't say for sure, so I was entering new territory, as an adult at least.

I got the cockles home - I had opted for fresh rather than any that had been prepared in any way - and sat down to eat them. I have to admit to expecting something along the lines of mussels, and so was surprised when I put them in my mouth. They have a very sharp, salty taste that isn't overly pleasant, but the worst thing about them is the texture. Although they are like mussels in themselves, they leave a horrible grittiness in the mouth which I assume is from the salt that they've taken in. It took me forever to get rid of that grittiness, and left cockles well down my list of favourites for the year. In fact, they were the first thing this year that I've had to throw some of away - I had got around 100g, and couldn't get close to finishing them. Cockles are just really not very good.

And still my monkfish was sitting defrosting in the fridge. I knew it would have to be eaten soon before it went off, soo on Thursday, we went to Asda, where I knew I would be able to get another monkfish tail (mine was only 100g, and I needed 350g) and the rest of the ingredients for what would be my most extravagant new dish since the wood pigeon dbacle - lemon risotto with monkfish and parma ham. Having never cooked risotto before, I was wary of how it would turn out, but was confident I could do it, as the recipe () looked pretty simple. Unfortunately, we were only able to get another frozen tail, which meant my culinary expedition would have to wait till Friday. But would it be worth it? Well, what do you think...?

In a word, yes. Very much so. The risotto was an absolute triumph, even if I do say so myself, and will be going onto my list of special meals I can prepare. Not only that, but it will come in very handy through my vegetarian week, I'm sure. Now, I'd never had risotto before, as I had no idea, or indeed inclination, how to prepare it, and would never have ordered it in a restaurant when there were more substantial, meatier options available, so was unsure about the consistency of it, and all that kind of thing, but I managed to get it bang on. We enjoyed it with broccoli, and it was topped with monkfish tail, wrapped in parma ham, which was baked in the oven for around 25 minutes, and was just delicious.

Monkfish is quite a meaty fish in texture, which doesn't taste entirely dissimilar to cod. It has a real bite to it, and the flavour matched up incredibly with the parma ham, which I love anyway. It feels considerably more substantial than most fish, and really felt as if you were having a proper meal, which I don't think most fish would with the bite size pieces I utilised, and, as I'd had the tail boned at the fish counter, taking away some of the weight, it was much less expensive than I had expected. Although parma ham is by no means cheap, and will probably push this dish into the realms of 'a treat,' it's something I'm going to make again, and I will definitely endeavour to search out more monkfish. It may well be one of the ugliest looking creatures you'll ever eat, but, as seafood goes, it'll be one of the best.



And there we go, finally up to date after my ridiculous lack of effort for so long. I know this has been a long one, but I figured it was best to get entirely caught up as our internet connection disappears (for the time being) tomorrow. But fear not, I'll be back as soon as possible. We're well over the halfway mark now, still ticking along, but I think I'm going to find it increasingly difficult to fulfill the rest of my categories now. Although a new attraction has opened at the Liverpool docks recently - BugWorld, where, among the dishes on offer in the cafe, you can eat baked tarantula. Guess I'll be paying them a visit pretty soon.

So, until the next time, and the next, much shorter update, please, everyone...

Stay Meaty!

As usual, for those keeping score, here's the updated table, up to and including, weeks 30 (completed categories in bold):

Herbivore Mammals
Bovine - Cow, Week 2; Buffalo, Week 19.
Ovine - Sheep, Week 5; Goat, Week 27.
Marsupia - Kangaroo, Week 21.
Rodentia - Rabbit, Week 13.

Omnivore Mammals
Porcine - Pig, Week 1.
Rodentia (a different one to the herbivore one)

Carnivore Mammals
Canine

Arthropods
Insecta
- Winged - Crickets, Week 12.
- Unwinged – Mealworms, Week 10 (Mealworm Beetle Larva); Ants, Week 15.
Arachnid - Scorpion, Week 20.
Crustatia
- Land
- Sea - Prawns, Week 17; Crab, Week 23.

Reptilia
Crocodile, Week 26.

Amphibians
Frog, Week 25.

Fish
Scaled fish - Salmon, Week 6; Eel, Week 14.
Flat fish - Monkfish, Week 30.
Shark - Dogfish, Week 28.

Mollusca
Bivalvia – Mussels, Week 11; Cockles, Week 29.
Cephalopoda - Octopus, Week 8; Squid, Week 24.
Gastropoda

Plus 10 different types of Bird - Turkey, Week 3; Chicken, Week 4; Ostrich, Week 7; Wood Pigeon, Week 16; Duck, Week 18, Goose, Week 22.
Plus 2 Animals from classifications NOT on the list – Deer (Cervine), Week 9.

Thankyou for your patience (Part II)

Meat Weeks 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22 & 23. Thursday 23rd April - Wednesday 10th June.

Yes, a whole month and a half worth of meat in your new instalment!

First things first, ladies and gentlemen, I'm claiming my special circumstances. For the last few weeks, I've spent barely a couple of days at home at a time - it's been a ridiculously hectic period, and I've just not really had chance to update. However, I'm here now, and am going to get caught up further. Incidentally, there will be another lengthy break in September, when I have to go to Croatia for a friends wedding, but other than that, we're relatively hassle free (touch wood) for the next few weeks, so I should be right back on track. So there you go.

So, when last we met, I had just recounted the story of having ruined my poor wood pigeon. As of yet, I haven't tried another one, but hopefully I'll get chance to later on in the year. Following that unmitigated disaster, I wanted something a little easier for my next meat, and the chance presented itself nicely.That week saw Laura's brothers birthday fall on a Wednesday, and, as is usual for one of Laura's families celebrations, we went out for dinner. I had decided that I would use this opportunity to take on my new meat, and so went for the surf and turf option.

Now, I have to be honest and say that I wasn't 100% sure what I would be getting when I ordered the scampi. Traditionally, proper scampi is made from lobster tails. However, more and more, restaurant scampi is merely prawns, and so that it what I was expecting and, in the end, what I received. Either would have been fine, however - and I've still not had lobster yet this year...

Prawns are prawns. There's not really a whole lot I can tell you about them that you probably don't already know. They're delicious little things, although I have to admit to preferring the bigger, shelled variety to those smaller, ready-peeled ones that tend to populate 70's style prawn cocktails across the land. And here's a little tip from me to you - when you do get the bigger ones, remember, after peeling and eating the body, to suck out the brains. It sounds disgusting, but it's actually very tasty.

The next weekend, we were due to go to Durham to see friends, one of the intentions being to go to a good Chinese buffet and have duck - which I had saved for this weekend for that very reason. However, there was to be a slight snag, as, when we got there, we found that the afternoon buffet, which we were booked in for (it was a large group) didn't have duck on it. So, what to do? Well, as I'd already decided what I was going to have, I thought it better not to mess around, and so just went out when we got home and bought a duck instead. And delicious it was too.

Roasted, and served with roast vegetables, our duck made an excellent meal. Duck is rather less similar to chicken than you might imagine, so alike do they look. Duck meat is a much darker meat than most other birds, and is generally a fattier bird, probably because they have to spend so much time on or around water, and therefore need the extra insulation. These things give the meat a much fuller flavour than most other fowl, although I know it can be a little much for some people. Personally, I find it absolutely delicious, and would far rather have it than turkey, duck or goose, for example. It is definitely recommended if you've never had it before, and, as with most meats, I'd suggest trying it on its own. All too often, we drown meat in sauces, or only enjoy them in a Chinese or Indian meal (duck is a staple of Chinese menus), and duck is certainly worthy of standing on its own two feet.

Following duck week, I was at something of a loss for what to have next. A visit to my parents, however, changed all that.

We arrived on the Sunday, and had already decided that we were going to eat there. Remarkably enough, they were set to have buffalo, and so, obviously, my weekly decision was made.Buffalo seems to be a semi-regular occurrence at my Mum's, and we even had it for Christmas dinner last year. I usually find it to be a tasty meat, not dissimilar to beef, but, unfortunately, this time round it wasn't great. It looked like buffalo braising steak, and tasted quite liver-y - certainly not the roasting joint I'd been hoping for. However, it was another week along my trek, and I knew that I'd have another chance to get better buffalo meat later in the year, so I wasn't too concerned - particularly as it meant that I wouldn't have to run around in a panic come Wednesday. Still, I couldn't help but feel disappointed by the quality of the meat, although, being the dutiful son that I am, I obviously didn't show this at the time.

So, from Sunday, Wednesday came around, with neither panic nor stress. Wednesday turned into Thursday and a new week, and, slowly but surely, the days went by until, once again, we arrived at Wednesday with no new animal having been eaten. This time, however, I didn't worry - I just reached into my desk drawer and pulled out my secret weapon...

After the weekly Apprentice meeting, I pulled it out - my scorpion encased in toffee. Now, having previously eaten insects from this same range, and having found them all to be dry and dusty, as previously mentioned, I didn't hold out high hopes for the scorpion, or indeed the quality of the toffee. Thankfully, I was wrong. The toffee was absolutely delicious, tasting exactly like the old Highland Toffee bars which I haven't seen for years, and, although the scorpion was dried as were the other insects, due to the toffee, it wasn't dusty in any way. The toffee had also crystallized inside it, which made it look brilliant.

I hadn't expected any flavour whatsoever, as the insects I'd previously had had had none, and so was very surprised when I bit into the thorax. I got a distinctly chemical, and quite sharply bitter taste, which I can only assume was something to do with the scorpions venom, although, of course, I can't be sure. Whatever it was, it was certainly interesting, and unlike anything I'd tasted before - at least in something I'd had on purpose. All in all, it was certainly my most rewarding insect experience so far, and one I'd definitely suggest people try - quite aside from anything else, eating a scorpion feels quite cool.

The following weekend, we had a massive assortment of friends come to visit, and this coincided with our monthly trip to the farmer's market. Once again, we stocked up on things which could go in the freezer - goat burgers, kangaroo burgers and monkfish - as well as purchasing some buffalo steak. The stallholder was running the buffalo steak as a test, and so was doing either rump or rib steaks for just £9. I opted for rump, and received a steak approximately a foot long, an inch thick, and 6 inches wide at its widest point. It looked absolutely gorgeous, and I was well pleased with my purchase.

I got a chance to try the rib steak the next day, when offered some at a barbecue. It only whetted my appetite further for the piece of deliciousness hiding in my fridge.

Anyway, with all the hustle and bustle of the weekend, I once again didn't get chance to cover my meat until the Wednesday of the week, and, unusually, one of my freezer meats was used immediately. Just to avoid any problems, I went with kangaroo burger (I knew that it was relatively easy to get hold of kangaroo meat, which is why I wasn't too worried about having the processed version - I know I'll get non-processed at some point this year). Kangaroo is such a rich, dark meat, and all that flavour even comes out in burger form. There is so much muscle, and so little fat, in kangaroo meat, and this really raises kangaroo burger above normal burgers. It's definitely worth trying if you have never previously had the chance, and I was certainly looking forward to getting hold of proper kangaroo steak later in the year.

Incidentally, later on that week, we had the buffalo for dinner (it cut into two good size pieces). It was everything I'd hoped for - rich, nicely marbled, and absolutely gorgeous. It tastes a lot like beef, and, as this was a good steak, I'm sure you can figure out what it was like. Suffice to say, it certainly wiped away the memory of the less than satisfying buffalo I'd had at my parents earlier.

Unfortunately, I have to admit to having still, by this point, not learnt my lesson from all the times that I'd left my meat to the last minute and then had a worrisome Wednesday. In fact, I have to admit right now that I still haven't learnt that lesson, and all too often find myself scrabbling for a new meat as the end of the week approaches. In fact, it's worse now as, still having not written my list of animals, I'm worried I'm going to ruin the whole shooting match by eating something from a category I don't need. I really need to be more organised.

Anyway, lessons. that's right, the next week had all but passed when I had my latest meat. This time it was to be another processed product which I had in my fridge, although it would once again be something I knew that I would get hold of in the future - goose (in pate form).

I love pate. When I was little, I hated it, but as I've got older, I've begun to find it more and more agreeable. This was a good goose pate. Spread on toast, and only about an hour before midnight came around, it was a good way to rack up another animal in a really easy manner, and, although it wasn't a foie gras, it was certainly good enough for me. I'm looking forward, though, to picking up an actual goose later on, because, although I don't find it quite as tasty as duck, it's definitely an animal I enjoy eating, as well as being one I haven't had for quite a while.

So, with the closest call I've had so far, time wise, surely I would be better prepared the next week, right? Wrong, unfortunately. I once again found myself looking for something new to eat on Wednesday. Whilst trying to decide what to have for dinner, Laura and I were trying to come up with a new animal, and failing miserably. Unfortunately, possum and alligator are fairly difficult to get hold of in Tescos, and I decided just to have a look around and see if anything jumped out at me. The meat counters offered no inspiration, until, suddenly, that fish counter hoved into view, bringing with it crab claws.

Crab meat is very tasty, and crab claws offer the added advantage of also being a toy. Playing with the claws themselves, once the meat has been eaten out of the centre, is a lot of fun. The meat is soft, and has a certain salty edge to it, as does most generic seafood, and is very easy to eat, as it's so light - it seems like the sort of thing that you could eat for ages without it ever being too much for you.

I do have one word of warning, however, for anyone who is tempted to give crab claws a try: be careful. The shell can splinter and break whilst you're trying to get the meat out, and the bloody thing managed to cut my finger even after it was dead. Crabs: always hoping to get the last laugh.

So there's part 2 of my mammoth update. The third and final part is on its way, which will bring us bang up to date, and will be up by the end of the weekend at the latest - Scout's honour.

And my final thought - did anyone else who saw the animal autopsy programmes think that giraffe meat looked delicious? I must have a word with some zoo keepers...

Stay Meaty!

As usual, for those keeping score, here's the updated table, up to and including, weeks 23 (completed categories in bold):

Herbivore Mammals
Bovine - Cow, Week 2; Buffalo, Week 19.
Ovine - Sheep, Week 5.
Marsupia - Kangaroo, Week 21.
Rodentia - Rabbit, Week 13.

Omnivore Mammals
Porcine - Pig, Week 1.
Rodentia (a different one to the herbivore one)

Carnivore Mammals
Canine

Arthropods
Insecta
- Winged - Crickets, Week 12.
- Unwinged – Mealworms, Week 10 (Mealworm Beetle Larva); Ants, Week 15.
Arachnid - Scorpion, Week 20.
Crustatia
- Land
- Sea - Prawns, Week 17; Crab, Week 23.

Reptilia
Lizard/Snake

Amphibians
Frog/toad

Fish
Scaled fish - Salmon, Week 6; Eel, Week 14.
Flat fish
Shark

Mollusca
Bivalvia – Mussels, Week 11.
Cephalopoda - Octopus, Week 8.
Gastropoda

Plus 10 different types of Bird - Turkey, Week 3; Chicken, Week 4; Ostrich, Week 7; Wood Pigeon, Week 16; Duck, Week 18, Goose, Week 22.
Plus 2 Animals from classifications NOT on the list – Deer (Cervine), Week 9.

Thankyou for your patience (Part I)

Meat Weeks 12, 13, 14, 15 & 16. Thursday 19th March - Wednesday 22nd April.

That's right, a blog entry written at the end of June covers 5 weeks in March and April. Ridiculous.

I am well aware of how crappy I've been. I've been incredibly lax, but, as time went by, and the number of meats I was going to have to write about increased, I just found it more and more difficult to sit down and write the thing, mainly due to my massive levels of lethargy. I did, on multiple occasions, sit down with Blogspot open, ready to go, but couldn't just quite bring myself to type. But then, I came up with both a surge of energy, and an elegant solution. Firstly, I promised myself I was going to finally do this. I was finally going to get caught up, and give my legion of fans what they had been waiting so long for. Secondly, I decided to do something to help both myself and you, and break it down into three separate chunks, so that I didn't feel like I was going to be here hours (although, now I've started, there's every chance that I will just do them all, as it's easier to carry on than it is to start), and also so that it was less work for you guys to read. Not that anything I ever write would be classed as work, elegant and wonderful as it is, but there you go.

And finally, rather than continuing with my theme of early paragraph apologies, I'm going, instead, to make a pledge. From now on, if I go more than 2 weeks without an update, and without a very good reason (if it's good enough, incidentally, will be decided by me, but I'm not going to take the mick - I'm talking major disaster or being out of the country here) then anyone who was following the blog at the point of the previous entry (in this case, there are 10 of you) will receive £1 from my own personal pocket for every day over the fortnight. That oughta motivate me.

So, with the parish notices done, let's move on to the real business of the day...

Cast your mind back to the murky depths of March, when we last met. It is, for the most part, a pretty dull-ass month - occasionally they'll wheel out Easter just to titillate you, but then it won't visit again for years. However, in this vast expanse of dull, there is one bright spot - my friend Sheli's birthday.

To honour this, and as touched upon in my previous entry, we'd had a day of Mini-Golf and other excitingness at the Trafford Centre, and Laura had decided to buy me a load of insects as an apology for having been a right narky cow that morning. The mealworms were eaten on the day, as I'd had them already, and the scorpion, crickets and ants were taken home for future eating. We didn't have to wait long.

As I've still not gotten round to writing up a provisional list of critters to devour, there have been multiple occasions where the meat choice of the week has been a very last minute thing. That's one of the reasons it's such a good idea for me to always have things in reserve. This week, it was the crickets that rescued me. After our weekly 'Apprentice' dinner, held every Wednesday of the shows run with friends who live upstairs, I reached for the bag.

Unlike the mealworms, which were pretty generic looking things, there was absolutely no ambiguity over what I was about to eat. Although these bugs had also been dried prior to packing, you could clearly see the eyes, wings, legs, and everything else that makes up a cricket. The Thai Green Curry flavoured coating (which didn't fill me with glee, as I really aren't that keen on curry) did nothing other than give them a sickly looking yellowish-green hue. Still, having survived mealworms, I now had no qualms whatsoever about biting one of the little fella's heads off.

Once again, and this appears to be a point I might make fairly regularly in my eating of insects, they were dusty. The drying process renders the creature almost pointless to eat, and I'm fairly sure there can be barely any nutrients left in them after it. However, that wasn't the point. The point was, it was yet another animal eaten on this quest, and, as animals go, it's a fairly unusual one, so I'll chalk it up to experience and hope that I get a chance at some point to eat fresh crickets - from what I've read in the past, when fried, they're pretty delicious.

The last weekend of March saw, as usual, the farmer's market make its merry way back to Lark Lane, affording me, once again, with an opportunity for some interesting animalistic purchases. Having decided against the month before, this time I went ahead and bought a rabbit - skinned but not boned - as well as some smoked eel. Laura didn't seem too happy about the idea of the rabbit, as she had never eaten it before, and has to overcome an innate fear of eating pet and cute animals every time she does it for the first time. Personally, I've never had that problem. I have no idea what that says about me.

Anyway, I decided to cook the rabbit in a pie, mainly to make it a little easier for Laura to chow down on. Rabbit is one of my absolute favourite meats, as it has such a strong flavour, quite unlike the usual farmyard animals that we eat, which I imagine is due to the incredible leanness of the meat, and the massive amount of muscle contained within the animal. Anyway, I modified my chicken pie recipe, which, incidentally, I've become a bit of a past-master at by this point, using beef rather than chicken stock for a meatier sauce, pepper in place of courgette (although, to be fair, this was only because we didn't have a courgette, and the shop had run out. I'd never do this normally as I don't really like peppers, but figured the rabbit would be strong enough to cover most of the horribleness) and, obviously, rabbit rather than chicken. Which brought it's own problems.

You see, the chap at the market who'd sold me the rabbit had said that, if I boiled it up for 10 minutes, the meat would simply fall off the bones. Fair enough, seems easy enough. What he hadn't told me, was that this was wrong. Very, very wrong. It appeared that the rabbit still had it's lower layer of skin on, which was holding all the meat tightly in, so, having boiled him, I then had to take as much as the remaining skin off as possible and then spend about 20 minutes trying to get as much meat as possible off of the bones. As anyone who's ever eaten rabbit will probably know, there isn't a great deal of meat on there to begin with, so every bit is important, and the last thing I wanted to be doing was throwing any away. When I'd stripped him as much as I thought possible, the pie was made, decorated and stuck in the oven.



Yep, that's right, I've got artistic pastry skills.

It was something of a triumph, which confirmed that I can make anything into a pie. On top of that, Laura loved it, despite feeling a bit strange about eating a bunny. I told her to get over it - bunny or not, he was utterly delicious. For anyone who hasn't eaten rabbit before, it's quite difficult to describe. It's one of the strongest meaty flavours I can think of, and I would recommend it to anyone.

The following week saw me in Birmingham, as a convenient stopping point for a weekend with friends in Nottingham. I brought with me my smoked eel, which, once again, I left till the very last minute to tuck into. The smoking process had given them that particular flavour, and, being a fish, I found that they tasted quite a lot like kippers. However, there was a slight edge to them which kippers don't have, and the thing that really set them apart was their texture. They're a much meatier fish than most, which I suppose makes sense given that an eel is essentially just a long tube of muscle, and they were much slimier to the touch than any other smoked food I'd ever had. To be honest, I'd always wanted to try eel as I'd seen so many people say how tasty they were, but had only ever seen them previously in jellied form, which turned my stomach slightly (and there's not many meats I'll say that about), and so had never really found the nerve to do it. Having now tried them, I'll say that, although there was nothing particularly bad about them, it's not something I'll be clamouring to get hold of again.

I had also thrown in my bag my little pot of chocolate covered ants. Knowing that Ben was going to be in Nottingham, I had decided I'd bring them with me and see if he fancied trying one. Unfortunately, I completely forgot about them when he was around, and ended up eating them on Easter Sunday morning, after breakfast. Well, actually, I didn't eat all of them there and then, opting to save a couple to try and freak some people out with later. Laura, who by this point had pretty much given up on trying most things with me unless they could conceivably come in joint form or were conspicuously mammalian, refused to try one. I did, however, manage to coerce one gent into having a go. Despite being a southerner, Stooz is a good sport it would seem. I warned him beforehand that, like the other dried insects I had had, the ants were dry and dusty in the mouth, and it was best to eat them with a drink at hand to wash down the bits. Apparently, I didn't go far enough with my warnings - his face was a picture.

The chocolate covered ants were fairly hefty - a good half inch in length, and nearly a centimetre tall once I'd uncovered one of them. It was interesting to take the chocolate off and see the insect underneath - completely preserved with all it's segments clearly visible. Of course, they didn't actually taste of anything, and the chocolate that covered them wasn't of particularly high quality, but this wasn't about culinary value, dammit - it was about eating some ants and freaking out a group of my friends. In that respect, they were awesome.

So, having completed that week a full three and a half days early, I had a little time to relax prior to meat 16...but then all too quickly, Tuesday had rolled around and I'd decided upon nothing. I started to worry a little until a thought hit me - my poor, unloved wood pigeon breasts, resting in the freezer. Finally, their day had come. I extracted them from their icy resting place to defrost, and looked up recipes.

As Wednesday came round, I was preparing to do wood pigeon with sweet potato rosti, buttered cabbage and a red wine sauce (if I do something, I tend to try and overdo it, if I'm honest). And was I successful? What do you think?

If your answer was 'no, definitely not,' by the way, then you're right. It was an unmitigated disaster, and by far the most disappointing week of the challenge thus far. The rosti burnt, and stuck to the pan but not itself, the wood pigeon was overcooked and tough, the cabbage just tasted like normal cabbage that I'd melted some butter on, and the red wine sauce was a mess - it didn't thicken, and just sat on the plate looking horrible. I was so disappointed, not just for me and Laura, who now had a crappy dinner to eat, but for my poor, much maligned wood pigeon - to have been saved for so long, only to end up in such a mess must have been particularly disheartening for his sad little ghost. I swore there and the that I would get more, and do him proud. Possibly in something a little less ridiculously ambitious next time...

So there you have it, 5 weeks of meats that happened nearly three months ago. As I promised earlier, there will be two more updates to come, and, believe me, they will be much more timely than has recently been the case. But, for now, I have to go to the shops for some ingredients - I've been roped into making a pie tonight...

Stay Meaty!

Oh, and, as usual, for those keeping score, here's the updated table, including, finally, weeks 12-16:

Herbivore Mammals
Bovine - Cow, Week 2
Ovine - Sheep, Week 5
Marsupia
Rodentia - Rabbit, Week 13

Omnivore Mammals
Porcine - Pig, Week 1
Rodentia (a different one to the herbivore one)

Carnivore Mammals
Canine

Arthropods
Insecta
- Winged - Crickets, Week 12
- Unwinged – Mealworms, Week 10 (Mealworm Beetle Larva); Ants, Week 15
Arachnid
Crustatia
- Land
- Sea

Reptilia
Lizard/Snake

Amphibians
Frog/toad

Fish
Scaled fish - Salmon, Week 6; Eel, Week 14
Flat fish
Shark

Mollusca
Bivalvia – Mussels, Week 11
Cephalopoda - Octopus, Week 8.
Gastropoda

Plus 10 different types of Bird - Turkey, Week 3; Chicken, Week 4; Ostrich, Week 7; Wood Pigeon, Week 16
Plus 2 Animals from classifications NOT on the list – Deer (Cervine), Week 9.

The Procrastinator Returns...

Meat Weeks: 9, 10 & 11. Thursday 26th February - Wednesday 18th March

Firstly, as seems to be becoming mandatory, an apology for my shoddiness - I realise that it has been forever since my last update, so let me get my excuses in now: I had gone to my parents' and not taken my SD card reader with me, so was unable to post the photos that I wanted to, so figured I would just update when I got back. What actually happened, however, was that I got back, and found that I couldn't find my card reader. No worries, thought I, I'll pop and get another one (the one I had/have is a cheap one from Home Bargains, so it wasn't too much of a worry.) However, it appears that they don't have them anymore, so, having spent the last few days looking for one, I’ve resigned myself to a) having to buy a new, probably more expensive one at some point in the future; b) having lost the SD card that is in that reader; and c) having to use the camera's cable to transfer my pictures across, which is incredibly annoying because I can't then pick and choose which ones I want, and will have to wait an age while every photo on my camera transfers over. Arse. Ally that to the fact that I'm rubbish at getting things done anyway, and you can see why this has taken so long...

Anyway, onto business. As I've said before, the fourth Saturday of every month sees the Liverpool Farmers' Market arrive on Lark Lane, just round the corner from my house, bringing with it myriad possibilities for my delectation and delight. This time around, we plumped for a venison joint, and also picked up some veal escalopes, which excited me muchly - although it's not a new animal, I'd never previously eaten veal before, and new stuff always rocks my world...

So, with the week's meat organised nice and early, we could relax, until Wednesday night rolled around, and I slid the joint into the oven. As per usual, we made roasted vegetables to go with our meat. We've found roast veg to be the best option to go with meals, as it's simple to prepare, and gets us a deal more than the recommended 5 portions of fruit and veg a day, as well as us being able to do more than we need, and use the rest in soups or with couscous for lunch. All in all, brilliant. We tend to use any or all of courgette, carrot, parsnips, potatoes, sweet potatoes, butternut squash, tomatoes, onion and peppers (generally multi-coloured for the look of things), lightly drizzled with olive oil, and with crushed garlic liberally applied throughout. They tend to be pretty much delicious, and I've yet to find a meat that they don't go with.

Back to the matter in hand. The venison was only a fairly small joint, and cooked for approximately an hour. The meat was tender, and sliced very easily. Now, I can't remember if I've ever had venison before, and, if I'm perfectly frank, I was slightly underwhelmed. Flavour-wise, there was nothing too special about it, and the meat wasn't quite as lean as I had hoped it would be. Strangely, I found that the fattier portion of the meat, at the top of the joint, actually tasted rather like lamb, which, while not a bad thing, was somewhat unexpected. I had suspected that this might be because they were ovine creatures in some way, although a quick look on Wikipedia suggests not - in fact, I have no idea where they will fit in to this challenges categories, given what I've just seen on there. My best guess so far is corvine, and that’s where I’m going to put them on the list for now, although I am going to wait for confirmation from Captain Meat on his definition (which is, of course, final). We may, in fact, have our first entry into the 'other' list...

Overall, venison is definitely something I will try again, as I can't be sure if we just got a less than brilliant joint, but if ours was standard, then I don't think, given its relative expense and difficulty to get hold of compared to lamb, pork and beef, I will be searching too hard for it in future.

Having racked up another week of meaty goodness, Laura and I prepared to take a trip to Leeds, and my parents' house. Saturday saw us attend the wedding of an old friend of mine (well, I say we attended, in fact I did, and Laura went to the wrong church. She had to come along after we'd set off to pick up the bride, got confused, and ended up at a church with, admittedly, the same name, but a children's party, rather than the celebration of a sacred union between two people. Still, she got there in the end), which brought with it the chance to grab a prawn sandwich. However, I rejected this opportunity for the same reason that I had turned down using ostrich burgers as a new meat – when I’m eating something, I want to properly eat it, not some processed version of it. Obviously there are some times when that won’t really be an option, but I’ll get there shortly…

I had decided that I’d stay at my parents’ for a few days, primarily because Leeds were playing at home on the Tuesday night, and it gave me a chance to get up to Elland Rd, which is always welcome. The only problem was, would I be able to get hold of a new meat? It was unlikely that there’d be anything interesting in my mum’s, although if worst came to worst, I could always go downmarket and have some tuna. Luckily, it didn’t come to that. My sister and her boyfriend had recently returned from Canada, and she had brought me, as a present, something to help me along in my quest – mealworms.

Now, I’d never knowingly eaten an insect before, but, buoyed by an excellent 4-0 victory, I opened them up when I got home. Now, here is where my first processed version comes in. Obviously, as these had been brought back from abroad, they weren’t exactly fresh. In fact, they were Barbecue flavoured. Still, they still looked like worms (they even had little legs at the front of their bodies) and I still had that same frisson of weirdness that I would have got from eating a fresh insect, so I took a few in my hand, and popped them in my mouth, and they were…unremarkable. The best way I can describe them is that, by virtue of being prepared as they had, they had the consistency of Wotsits. The BBQ flavour was not very strong, so I felt that I did get a little flavour of the actual worm, but, like Wotsits, I ended up having to take a drink to clean my mouth out, as it was full of worm powder. Since I’ve had them, Ben has told me that, apparently, fresh mealworms, deep fried, taste like shrimp. Unfortunately, when he came up to visit that weekend, we didn’t get to the pet shop in time to get some and put this to the test, although that will definitely be being done at some point. If I’m going to do this, I want to do it right.

I came back from my mum’s with a fresh week ahead of me. But what to have this week? With no plans in mind, the meat world was my oyster (which, incidentally, is a creature that I’ve never eaten. Maybe later on in the year…) Now, Laura has been going on at me for a while to comprise a list of animals so that we can have something to work from, but, as of yet, I’ve still not done this fully – I’ve made a start, about a month ago, but never actually got round to finishing it. I really should do that, as it will prevent this kind of problem happening again…

Once more, the weekend passed, and I’d not yet had my new meat. Tuesday came, and my trying to figure out what it should be just resulted in my being yelled at for not yet having completed my list. However, I had the glimmer of an idea – on Wednesday, the final day of the meat week, I planned to go to Southport. For those of you that don’t know, Southport is a smallish seaside town in the North-West of England, and, as such, I imagined that I would have no problem finding a new seafood to eat. However, this proved more difficult than I expected. I was hoping to find cockles or winkles, something I could buy a pot of and eat by the sea in traditional British seaside holiday fashion, but there was not a stall to be found. No fish and chip shops sold them, there seemed to be no fishmongers anywhere (I realised later on, after Laura had made my decision for me, that they were in the market, which I didn’t find until too late), and time was running out.

Luckily, Laura rang from the supermarket. I explained my dilemma, and she came up with the wonderful idea of getting some mussels. This hadn’t occurred to me, and so I was very happy to go along with the plan, especially as I love mussels.

Now, it was while in Southport that I had a bit of a revelation. Recently, I’ve been getting so wound up in finding and eating weird and wonderful (or, at least, not my usual) animals, that I’d lost sight of the original plan – to eat a different species of animal each week for a year. I walked past numerous fish and chip shops, worrying about not being able to find a new animal, when all along there were cod, plaice and haddock available. All of these are as viable as any other species, yet I dismissed them pretty much out of hand. This is something I’m really going to have to think about for the future, as, although I really do want to find and try new meats, I don’t want to fail this challenge when there is an obvious solution available.

Anyway, back to the matter in hand. Laura had brought home some mussels, which I had as a starter for my dinner that evening. They were unbelievably easy to cook, which I’m sure will come as no surprise to anyone who’s cooked them before, but seeing as I hadn’t, I expected to have to do a lot more than put them in a pan and switch on the heat. The pack I had came with a garlicky sauce, which eliminated the need for any further water, and flavoured the molluscs wonderfully. I was lucky in that none of the mussels failed to open, so I got to enjoy them all – and very tasty they were too.

For anyone who’s never eaten mussels, I really must recommend them. Granted, they look disgusting – essentially like a giant, hard ball of phlegm, if I’m honest – but they’re really quite delicious. They taste quite salty, but that is always overcome by a good sauce, and they have a really quite delightful texture - a little chewy, not as much as the likes of squid, but enough that you certainly know you’re getting some good old fashioned protein inside you., but never too tough. A word of warning though – if the shell of the mussels you wish to eat doesn’t open when the creature is cooked, then it is not safe to force it open and eat it, as, I believe, that means the animal is still alive. I could be wrong, of course, but you’re still only supposed to eat them when they open.

So, I managed to successfully negotiate another three weeks worth of meat based adventuring, and now have some more lined up. This weekend just gone, we went to Manchester’s Trafford Centre for a birthday, and Laura took it upon herself to pop into Selfridges and pick me up some more insect goodies – Thai Green Curry flavoured crickets, Chocolate Covered Giant Ants (I plan on uncovering one of the ants, and eating him on his own) and a scorpion encased in toffee. She also got me a bag of mealworms, not realising that they were the same ones as I’d already had, which afforded me the chance to offer them round to everyone else, proving that this really is the challenge that just keeps on giving. It looks like I might have an interesting couple of weeks coming up…

So, after what seems like an age, you finally get another update. I promise to you all that I’m keeping up with my meats much better than I am this blog, although I am claiming extenuating circumstances, due to the fact that I very rarely get time to actually sit down and write as there are always people here. Case in point – I started this update on Friday night, but had to stop when visitors arrived. We had company for the whole weekend, and this evening is the first chance I’ve had to actually get anything else done since then, although, on the plus side, I have managed to find another SD card reader, so there will be more pictures going up shortly. I say shortly because I’m going to get this up straight away, just to sate all your appetites.

So, with humble apologies for my appallingness, and heartfelt thanks for you taking the time to keep up with my exploits, I bid you all a fond farewell for now, and say to you all…

Stay Meaty!

And, for those who like to keep up to date...

Herbivore Mammals
Bovine - Cow, week 2
Ovine - Sheep, week 5
Marsupia
Rodentia

Omnivore Mammals
Porcine - Pig, week 1
Rodentia (a different one to the herbivore one)

Carnivore Mammals
Canine

Arthropods
Insecta
- Winged
- Unwinged – Mealworms, Week 10 (Mealworm Beetle Larva)
Arachnid
Crustatia
- Land
- Sea

Reptilia
Lizard/Snake

Amphibians
Frog/toad

Fish
Scaled fish - Salmon, week 6
Flat fish
Shark

Mollusca
Bivalvia – Mussels, week 11
Cephalopoda - Octopus, week 8.
Gastropoda

Plus 10 different types of Bird - Turkey, week 3; Chicken, week 4; Ostrich, week 7.
Plus 2 Animals from classifications NOT on the list – Deer (Cervine), Week 9.

From the plains to the sea.

Meat weeks: 7 & 8. Thursday 12th - Wednesday 25th February.

After a couple of weeks of narrowly making my meat deadline, week 7 was going to be a more relaxed affair. Granted, once again it was going to be Wednesday night, the last possible time for my new meat to be eaten, when the meal would take place, but this time there was to be no hassle - we planned well in advance what it was going to be, and I was looking forward to my first less-usual animal - deer.

Now, venison isn't completely unusual, but it's not your regular day to day meat, and I was interested to have it, as it's something I hadn't had for a long, long time. So, when Wednesday rolled around, Laura went to try and pick up some venison. Unfortunately, Morrison's had none, and so she rang to see if I could pick some up. By this point, however, it was quarter past four, and so I quickly jumped on a bus from town (which I have just this moment realised was pretty stupid, when I could have gone to St John's Market) and headed up towards Allerton Road, where I knew of a couple of good butcher shops. Neither of which had fresh venison...

So suddenly I had a little panic. From being so organised, we now had a slight pickle. However, I was in a butchers. Surely he must have something interesting for me? Frozen venison wasn't going to cut the mustard, as it wouldn't have time to thaw. All the other interesting meats he had were also frozen...until he mentioned the prime ostrich steak he had, fresh, in the back. A quick call to Laura to check that it was ok, and away we went.

So, my first step into the world of not-easy-to-get-hold-of-in-a-supermarket meat was with ostrich. Ironically, we actually have a bundle of ostrich burgers in the freezer, as Phil-San had accidentally left them here when he was over in December, but I'd held off having them until we could have proper ostrich meat, as I didn't want to sully the task with processed meat as my first tasting of the year, and had decided that I'd get them out of the freezer after I'd had ostrich steak for the first time. Now was that time.

The steak that was brought out was just shy of a pound and a half in weight, and about an inch thick - perfect, essentially. I bought the whole thing, got it cut into two - the knife went through it like a hot knife through butter - and set off to pick up the ingredients Laura wanted for out revised menu - blue cheese and parsley, for a delicious blue cheese sauce. Being unsure of whether or not ostrich was safe to eat bleu, which is my usual steak preference, we cooked it a little more, although the thickness ensured that it was still lovely and red in the middle. Served with the sauce on the side for me, and drizzled over the top for Laura, and with a selection of vegetables, it looked delicious.

Taste wise, ostrich had a hint of something I couldn't quite put my finger on. It tasted very very slightly of iron, I think, although Laura felt that that could have been just from the fact that it was so pink. I don't agree, mainly as I always have my steak practically raw, and it doesn't taste like that, which leads me to believe it's something in the meat itself. The main thing about ostrich is that it is exceptionally lean - there wasn't an ounce of fat on the cut I got, and the outdoor lifestyle of the animal is clear from the taste. It's quite gamey, and has a lovely clean texture. I assume we got a very good cut, as the meat really did just fall apart, and melted in your mouth. The sauce was a nice accompaniment, although I tended to eat the meat without, just to get the full flavour of it.

Althogh not cheap (my piece was £15.50, and the kg price was £26), ostrich is something that I will definitely be putting on my list of occassional meats - those that are for more of a special occassion than your everyday beef or pork. To be fair, for two roughly ten ounce steaks, that wasn't actually too bad a price, although it will have to be a treat-y thing in the future. Unless we can get some deals from the ostrich farmer that comes to the farmer's market...

I had an interesting discussion with the butcher while figuring out which meat to get, though. I outlined the challenge to him, and he came back with a list of meats he can get me - from kudu and various 'boks, to numerous birds, to crocodile. I think I may have found a supplier for many of my future meats...

Week 8 was going to be nowhere near as close to the bone. I already knew when and where I would be having my meat - I just didn't know which one yet.

Last weekend, as I'm sure you'll all know, was Valentine's Day. The celebration of love, and all things cherub-y, however, had passed us by slightly, as we were doing friend duty. This is a Good Thing, as it allowed us to save our Valentine's Day for this weekend, the 20-22nd, meaning we got to go to the restaurant we actually wanted to, and didn't pay stupid, over-inflated prices. On top of that, it gave us an extra week to find presents...

Laura is mildly obsessed with Teppanyaki, a Japanese style of cooking which involves you sitting around the chef's workstation as he prepares your food in the middle of the restaurant. The experience, as dining out goes, is wonderful - the chefs invariably put on a show, flipping eggs, throwing bowls, generally juggling all manner of kitchen implements, and having fun with your food. It's really interesting to watch the cooking process, on top of everything else, and every time we've been, the food has always been superb. It was yet another place, however, where people looked surprised when I asked for my steak bleu - even stranger when you consider what I had had for a starter...

When the menu came round, I knew that there were going to be lots of possibilities. I had to throw some out though, for logistics purposes - eel, which I've never eaten, went out the window as there are just too many fish, and they would not be difficult to complete. It seemed pointless to have prawns or giant clam, as molluscs or crustaceans are so easy to get hold f. What to have, what to have..? Then I saw it. I had been thinking about having squid, because it was annoying me not being able to have it when we went out, but when I spotted octopus on the sushi menu, I decided to have that. Being much more difficult to get hold of, in general, than squid, it seemed like a good idea to do it now, and, if I did stumble across it on any other menu, then it would serve squid's purpose nicely.



I'm not often a great fan of sushi - for some reason, and I don't know if it's something to do with the rice or possibly soy sauce, which I really don't like, I always finds it tastes slightly of ammonia. Still, I was willing to take one for the team on this one, all the while prepared to dispense with the rice and just eat the octopus. When it came out, though, I was pleasantly surprised, as there appeared to be no sauce on the thing at all, and so I popped one in my mouth.



This was the first totally raw animal I'd eaten this year, and it still messes with my head that they just don't bother cooking the animals at all. I'm still not fully sure how that works, as we're constantly told not to undercook meat, and I really should find out. I'll try to remember to do that. Anyway, octopus shares certain characteristics with squid, in that it's exceptionally chewy. Other than that, it's texture is quite unremarkable, as the creature is very smooth. Taste wise, it tastes, well seafood-y. That is to say, slightly salty. Really, it's not a very flavoursome meat, although it's certainly not offensive, and doesn't even start to worry the gag reflex, as some seafood can have a propensity to do. As a starter for a wholly wonderful meal, it was lovely, and a nice change of pace from what I might usually have. On top of this, it's the first meat yet for which we have pictures, so that's exceptionally exciting, obviously.

Most importantly of all, however, is that it's the start of another category of animal. As I predicted, weeks are now starting to take a little more planning, although are beginning to get more interesting for it. Each week brings a new and exciting challenge, and we're coming very close now to things I've never before eaten. I'm sure you're all as excited as I am. So, for now, and until next time...

Stay Meaty.

And, for those who like to keep up to date...

Herbivore Mammals
Bovine - Cow, week 2
Ovine - Sheep, week 5
Marsupia
Rodentia

Omnivore Mammals
Porcine - Pig, week 1
Rodentia (a different one to the herbivore one)

Carnivore Mammals
Canine

Anthropods
Insecta
- Winged
- Unwinged
Aracnid
Crustatia
- Land
- Sea

Reptilia
Lizard/Snake

Amphibians
Frog/toad

Fish
Scaled fish - Salmon, week 6
Flat fish
Shark

Mollusca
Bivalvia
Cephalopoda - Octopus, week 8.
Gastropoda

Plus 10 different types of Bird - Turkey, week 3; Chicken, week 4; Ostrich, week 7.
Plus 2 Animals from classifications NOT on the list